Have YOU ever been there?
Have you ever seen a young boy take off his own skin as if casually removing his t-shirt and trousers? Have you ever poked a stick at what lives under the swamp? Have you ever been forced to watch a 600-pound woman eat her own limbs? Have you ever been to a bar is so deep in the woods that you’ll never find it twice? Have you ever made it on the roof of an abandoned grain bin filled with headless birds? Have you ever felt a worm scratch the inside of your skull? Have you ever seen what witches actually do with fresh bodily fluids? Have you ever noticed that your daughter is carrying around a hairless cat that eats other cats?
Never Been There is a collection of these sordid and morbid tales and even a few more. Be warned however. These are each nothing if not extreme. They will drag you kicking and screaming through all of these places, show you all of these things and do so in such exquisite, grotesque detail that they will dare you not to finch.
LUTHER BLACKTOP
An old mill-worker named, Milton is the only thing remaining in a town teetering on the very edge of falling into history and being lost forever. He's tried to save it, but he's getting too old and knows that his time is almost up. He's playing his final card. He's called in Luther Blacktop, a man gifted with a very special (and very effective) way of dealing with these things. But will Milton be prepared to pay his gruesome price?
TITS ON A CHAINSAW
Reese says he's already had her but his pal, Wally doesn't believe she even exists. Trishka only comes out at night and only comes around these parts every few months. However, Reese has discovered that tonight's the night she returns and he's already set everything in place to make sure Wally has a very bloody good time.
SIX INCHES THICK
Sammy's an only child. It's the middle of summer and daddy's gone off to the races for a few days. She supposed to go to work in a few hours, but she'd do anything to get out of it and get high instead. Luckily for her, she knows two boys sitting on a whole pile of weed that just so happen to take anything as payment as long as she goes pigeon hunting with them at the abandoned grain elevator. They are just pigeons, aren't they?
PINOCHLE
It took Eddie's job a few months ago. A few weeks later It came back and took his kids. Now, Eddie waits quietly in his room while it sleeps inside of him. He's learned not to move too fast because if he does, he'll sweat. And when he sweats, that's when it'll wake up and take something else...
JANIS THE SWALLOWER
Resting deep within the Glorious State Institute for the Mentally Ill, a pale, six-hundred-pound monstrosity lies silent on her bed, locked behind a protective mask. Her eyes and her mind are focused on one thought and one thought alone. Anything she can see, she can eat. Anything. It's all hers. Even if it kills her to do so.
RAGAMUFFIN
Now making his way to the ring, hailing from the depths of Cadaver Junction, ladies and germs, the challenger in our main event! This is a no-disqualification, no count out, falls count anywhere fight to the death! For those with a weak stomach or children under the age of ten, please look away now. Here comes, LEATHERHEAD!
COLD HARD GASH
The Gash. For some, it's the only chance at better life. For others, it's a proving ground for strength and survival. But for Sister Ghast, it's not for the fame or the glory. It's her way of giving the people what they really want by delivering blood-soaked salvation to the terminally incapacitated patients of Pyatt State Boys Home—every Saturday night!
DITCH WITCH
Mr. Hahn, the proprietor of the Seven Seas Consignment and Grandeur, has recently acquired the crowning jewel of his collection — a living giant tattooed with a map that leads to riches beyond his imagination. The only problem is that the most important part of the map is hidden under a box sealed around the Giant's head and will require the services of a young and sexually-charged punk-rock witch named Hayley Rose to unlock it.
JAPABIS
After a hurricane knocks out a small island off the coast of Virginia, Callous Clearing is sent out to do the only job that can keep their family business afloat. After they arrive however, what begins as just another dirty job quickly becomes what may be their last job when they discover that the hurricane has left behind something far more grisly than a bunch of fallen trees.
SPIT'S BAR
After a full day of drinking beer, popping pills and hunting pigs of in the foothills of Appalachia, Billy and his older friend Dane find themselves caught in a heavy storm and in need of somewhere wait it out. Their only option is a small, isolated bar that they happen upon at the top of a long, muddy road. However, before they can go inside, they must overcome their own drunken paranoia that the pigs they were shooting at all day may be waiting for them inside.
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"These stories are truly a rare find. They are an amazing event. They are the fresh batteries in every lonely wife’s dildo."
- Eric Enck, author of "Snuff" and "Dracula is Bleeding"
